. love is a matter .

hey all.. you know? i've just passed this full weekend activites and slept like a log. (zzzzz.. krrk.. krrk.. snoring.. hahaha.. noooo.. ). it's a tiring weekend, but i cant lie. it was so fun.. yes, my life is so fun! Thanks God.

i noted 2 scenes of those fun activities which a bit annoying my mind, till this second.

1. one friend who accidentaly and bein sooo naive and innocently texted me and told me somethin about my ex.

hey, i dont need it at all. you dont have any duty to report all the things about him. it's so annoyed. i never care about him anymore. knowing about himself (nowadays) is really really make my blood boiled over. make me feel unwell. heart beats faster. something scary and frightened. it's a strong feeling. and it's naturally happened. i dont lie at all. really. i dont wanna feel in that way. please dont ever remind me or report sometin about him.. :( i really really dont need it at all..

2. it's a triangle conversation inside the car. they said that i become an icy woman these lately months.

they said " you look so icy. Men who want to enter the private room of your heart deeper is forbidden. it's wrong. you must reconstruct your feeling. open your eyes, open your heart. "

i asked then seriously " AM I ICY?? IS IT TRUE? "

it surprised me. and then i thought deeper. am i icy? yes, its true that it's hard to welcome someone new to care, to love. it's not because i still keep hoping of my ex. easy to find the love mate, like a higschool's love story. but, i cant do that. here, i cant feel any courage to begin a new relationship instantly, noted. i'm too disappointed on man. i need serious preparation, deeper observation, long consideration to trust on man's words. maybe, some of them said it honestly and sincerely, but i cant feel it clearly. and then, somebody may think that i'm an icy woman who dont want to open her heart for someone new. it's wrong, dude. i open my heart, and open my eyes (wider). but, i'm so sorry if i cant be attracted easily. i'm so sorry. you just need extra efforts and time. we cant make a chemistry instanly, we have to build that day by day. but, if you think it's enough, so you can give up freely.  okay? :)

hmm.. love is a matter ya.. (love itu sesuatuuu deh.. hahaha).